Saturday 4th May 2019, there was a sale for the Poppy Appeal and I went there to help. When we were clearing up Susan showed me a large Airfix kit which she has been trying to sell for ages. "I just don't know why no-one wants it" she said. Immediately I said "Bob would have loved that". This is the way it is and every day something will happen for me to say "Bob would have loved that".

Bob, it is nearly two years since you died and I don't think I shall ever get over the loss. Yes, I know that you could not have stayed any longer and you wouldn't want me to be sad but I just cannot help it. Every day since you died I have lit a candle for you (you get 2 at weekends)!! The days are long and lonely and I have so much to do trying to move and the sheer volume of work involved with that is frightening. I know you will never see this but it is helping me to tell you everything. I keep watching Bailey and his leg is not healing up - he does not know how to rest and is making himself worse by running around and he is limping more than ever. I won't let him suffer and when the time comes for me to say goodbye to him I will be holding him so that he won't be afraid. After that, there is nothing to keep me here, only a life of pain and suffering and I would love to be able to join you and get away from it. I guess this is stupid writing my thoughts down like this maybe I'll write them in a journal of "Life After 2 Years". Good name for a television series !! I'll read through them over the next couple of days and then delete this thought as every one thinks I am OK and coping and they don't need to read this. I love you, miss you more than you'd ever know. My love always and forever xx

Supporting Val on this day as she remembers your life together x